Being Alone Can Be Beautiful

I came across this lovely video about how to be alone.  It's a gentle reminder for those who are unsure or are afraid of being alone, that it is okay. I found it very comforting. It reassures that being alone is not a bad thing. Being alone can lead to introspection and self-knowledge, as well as awareness and appreciation of one's surroundings. It can be very beautiful.

There is a lot of pressure out there to be in a relationship with someone, to hang out with people, or to talk on the phone at all times. It seems the consensus is that if you don't have people to talk to or be with, you must not be very important.

I believe there is also a profound societal compulsion to be "social" online. It seems to say, "Put yourself out there and force the world to interact with you! More "friends," more "followers," more commenters!" If you can't be with people in person,  you should be interacting with them in the online world, because apparently, it is bad to be alone for even a few minutes.

Of course I know that humans are social creatures, and have survived throughout time be living and working together. I am a very social person. I love being with friends as much as the next person. And I do find benefits in the use of online social networks. I'm not arguing for perpetual isolation and solitude. I am arguing, however, that being alone from time to time is undervalued and even devalued by society.

When my children started spending some weekends with their dad (my ex), I had alone time forced upon me. It was difficult and well, lonely, at first. I didn't know what to do with myself. I filled up this time with tasks and projects to distract myself. Even though I was busy, I found myself doing a lot of thinking about things, both pleasant and unpleasant. It was beneficial, however, to face my thoughts and feelings, though I was fearful of being overwhelmed by them at first.

I later began to embrace my alone time as "time off," or "me time." I had to become reacquainted with myself, since it had been so long since I had lived on my own. I remembered what it was like to slow down and linger over things that I cared about. I had time to shop in the grocery store at my own pace. I relearned what my interests were and started to pursue them. I enjoyed less structure with only myself to answer to. I also tried new things, like taking myself to dinner and a movie.

I really believe that these times by myself helped me be more comfortable with myself. I became more centered and self-aware. Being alone helped me feel that doing what I wanted was not necessarily selfish or irrelevant. It can be fulfilling to exercise independence and it can be freeing to know that, for a moment in time, the only expectations of you are your own.